I Have a listing of Desirable Qualities. Exactly why is it Difficult for Females to devote?

Reader Question:

Me: 46 years old, African-American male, pro job, resident, attractive, 20-year-old daughter. We date outside my personal race. Im in excellent form.

It appears just as much as ladies want a loyal relationship, they don’t really should invest in me personally. I actually do have a “list” of attractive qualities — appealing, able to handle the woman finances, a social or nondrinker and an individual who is willing and able to take a trip and do things.

Why is it problematic for ladies to devote once I provide outward signs and symptoms of wanting to maintain a loyal relationship?

-Mark (California)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Response:

Dear Mark,

Yes, a lot of women are acting like males (or how they THINK males act) and are generally preventing commitment. With that said, I will inform you there are still much more women that want a protected attachment than perhaps not.

I’m thinking why you may appear become drawn to ladies who avoid a solid connection. Could this become your choice in objectives?

My personal advice is always to communicate with ladies that you might not at first end up being keen on and discover should you heat up in their mind. Occasionally all of our inability to find a safe relationship is related to our worries of abandonment.

To put it differently, we decided lovers who are unable to get near to shield you from getting “dangerously” shut and exposure abandonment.

Take to dating the sort of individual you have never, ever outdated prior to. Go-slow. And pay attention to your feelings on the way.

Will you be easily jealous, want to get a handle on her time or need seal the deal too fast? The trick would be to contain yourself and quell your own worries.

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